One of my good friends had asked me to write a blog about something she has been struggling to move on with. Her question to me was, “How do you move on from the one person that you are in love with, the one person you put yourself out there for, that one person that you put so much at risk for, that one person you would do everything and anything for, that one person you can’t live without…?” I have been telling my friend for the past 3 years that he isn’t worth her time and that she doesn’t deserve him, but she keeps on running back to him. Why would you want to be with a guy who hits up your girlfriends and flirts with them and doesn’t even notice you (remember, you are actually together with this guy). He’ll hit her up when he feels like he’s bored out of his mind to talk and she will respond to him within a heartbeat. But when she hits him up, she won’t get a response…at all. My friend tried to get over him a few months ago. She deleted him off of everything and was doing so well. All her friends deleted him too. But of course, I just found out a few days ago that she added him back weeks ago. BUT he had some nerve to re-add one of her friends who he had been flirting with, again. Does anyone see something wrong here? And it is seriously about time that she gets off this roller coaster. Sure, it could be almost 5 years of a relationship with a guy and you may think, “how can I get over all that we’ve been through?” Time matters but at the same time for situations like this it means nothing. If it’s been a on and off kind of relationship you have to realize after 5 times of trying that things are never gonna change because you have tried and clearly there is something wrong. The only way things can even change before you give it another try is if you actually separate yourself from him for at least 6 months and let time tell. Maybe after a few months things may work out but not after 2 weeks.
How do you get him to realize that you are not going to be around for so long?
Girls have low self-esteem and confidence which let’s guys overpower us. They are able to scoop us off our feet with the sweet lines they use to pick us up. Seriously, no one made rules saying that the guy has to be in control. So girls, step up your game! You be the ruler, be the Queen and conquer your King but with YOUR rules. Guys strategy to get girls – “play the game”. Two can play that same game. Be the guy, play his game, by his rules and WIN. It’ll work! Waiting for him to reply back to your texts every 3 hours? Make him wait, do what he does to you to make him realize how it feels to wait for you! Be the one to end the conversation for once. He constantly says he’s too busy with other plans? Next time he asks you to hang out with him don’t move your plans around to satisfy him. Never go out of your way to do anything for him if he doesn’t do that in return. I have seen most of my friends actually take my advice AND IT WORKS. You have to make the guy work for you. Don’t let him have you so easy, he has to work for a special girl like you! It’s upsetting to see many of us girls go through this everyday, but we have to realize we can make the rules too. Have the confidence that you should have and don’t be afraid to use it. IF the guy honestly is treating you like complete shit, WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? I get it, feelings are hard to get over but you do realize that you are constantly crying over the same guy everyday and nothing has changed so why do you bother putting yourself through that? You have to know that you deserve SO much better than what he can even offer you.
5 Ways to get over a guy
1) If he hits you up don’t respond back…remember, you are trying to get over him. If you keep in touch with him you are never going to get over him!
2) Get rid of all the memories you have with him even if that means that you have to sacrifice listening to music.
3) Try something new to get your mind off of him; Go to they gym, have more girl time, pick up some good reads, etc.
4) Feel great about yourself; Dress up, wear make-up, feel beautiful inside and out! (Everyone is beautiful in their own way, you don’t need make-up to make you look pretty but it certainly will help to make you feel better about yourself).
5) Lastly, I know this may seem immature but get rid of him on any social media network you have him on and mobile device. You want to stay away from anything that will remind you of him (statuses, uploads, etc.)
Getting over a guy is like ending a chapter of a story book and starting a brand new one, like a New Year. The only way you can do that is if you honestly get him out of your life, gain the confidence you need, and BELIEVE in yourself. No girl needs a guy to complete her. Each one of you are beautiful in your own way and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Three years worth of trying and nothing has changed? It’s time to move on because you are wasting your time and missing out on so many smiles & laughs that you could have been enjoying, but you were crying over him.
I hope that this helped any of you who stumbled upon this post and of course, my friend, because she deserves to be happy. Remember, you are beautiful. :*
(Sorry for the extremely long post!!)